Daniel explains why he never watches the big bang theory

6:30pm Xavier

u shld watch the big bang theory

6:30pm Daniel

i dunnoe man, it hits too close to home

and i knew a guy like sheldon once

6:30pm Xavier

LOL

6:30pm Daniel

yeah, i broke his arm

hur hur hur

Now for a little German action...


Rayes says:
hey now...slow down...i'm selected for most charming 19 year old already

♣☻♦♥vielleicht auch fuer immer♥♦☻♣ says:
my foot!

Rayes says:
another girl with foot fetish?

♣☻♦♥vielleicht auch fuer immer♥♦☻♣ says:
LOl. hilarious.

Rayes says:
how'd you know i give good foot massages?

♣☻♦♥vielleicht auch fuer immer♥♦☻♣ says:
noo arse.

Rayes says:
sorry i don't do anal!

♣☻♦♥vielleicht auch fuer immer♥♦☻♣ says:
gosh! can u like stop it?

Rayes says:
not till you call my name!

♣☻♦♥vielleicht auch fuer immer♥♦☻♣ says:
fine. mr (insert real name here)
thank you very much! :D

Rayes says:
hahahahahahhahaahahhaa

09.11.09 - Batman and Robin Make-out

This conversation takes place after Jeff sends me this picture :

(BTW, i really find this more offensive than porn... it goes against everything i believed in when i was growing up... but more on that another time...)

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:05 PM)

nabei

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:07 PM)

can u imagine

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:16 PM)

if u in trouble, they kena summon come and save you

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:26 PM)

then they make out let you see instead

Jeffrey says: (8:24:41 PM)

then they both take turns and sodomise u

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:42 PM)

then batman say "to the batmobil"

xav* glamourous days of our lives says: (8:24:53 PM)

then they pang seh you because of their urges

Jeffrey says: (8:25:39 PM)

fuck mann, now i think hes not cool anymore

From my buddy sanchez on sex.

"Sex is like a gun.You pull,you shoot...you run"

Thinking of Water 081009

W.L. says: (7:45:35 PM)

有想我吗?kEkEz

W.L. says: (7:45:37 PM)

Lol

xav* the adventure that is life says: (7:46:57 PM)

ni shi shui?

W.L. says: (7:47:13 PM)

Haha

W.L. says: (7:47:29 PM)

I'm not water!

W.L. says: (7:47:29 PM)

Wahahahaha

xav* the adventure that is life says: (7:47:38 PM)

LOL

xav* the adventure that is life says: (7:47:43 PM)

fucking lame lol

25.09.09 - Jiron puts it the right way

On idiots giving other idiots idiotic dating advice.

Jiron. says:
it's as if they cant see they arent different from the guy whose balls got whacked

PWNED!

So i was discussing with Jasmine about guys being visual creatures while girls are being triggered by how they feel.It gradually switched to bimbos and girls who take more effort in making themselves look good rather than self improvement.

The next line made me learn never to mess with girls who have both brains and looks.

Jas : The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than they can think.


OUCHHHH

12.09.09 - PTE BENJAMIN CHEW

After passing out of BMT after 1 WHOLE YEAR LOL!

Pseudonym: ben says: (2:10:57 PM)

anything you can reach me through my camera phone

xav* i won't worry bout a thing says: (2:11:04 PM)

LOL

On the winner of Miss S1ng@p0r3(just so the winner doesn't google this directly and get hurt reading this)

Funny comments by my friends on msn.

I can't imagine my life without several people says:
i think just random choose any girl in sp also better than her
and whos called ris ?
pasir ris meh
wth


You loved me more than you ever would says:
I swear to god I hope she gets some brains before she gets more sex,'If I'm feeling naughty I'll be wearing something red...and loud...Something you know?Booms.'
seriously wad the eff!Her dildo's a dynamite between her legs?Or a red chilli?


-FML=Feel My legs- says:
Fucking terrorist.
I hope she don't feel naughty on Miss Universe and blow the freaking place up.
She can die,but please leave Miss Puerto Rico alone:(
AND AND AND
WTF IS KHAKI GREEN.LAPPERD spots and ZEEBERA prints.WTF IS ZEBRA PRINTS?!?
THINK NIGHT SAFARI AR?

Ripped off my friend Brian's facebook status

Blond,'What does IDK stand for?'.
Me, 'I don't know.'
Blond,'OMG nobody knows?!?'

Fucking Typo 140809

Xavier See

will let ya knw if im hitting manila any time soon... that sounds lovely, we can then burn off the calories together while laying zombies in L4D

about a minute ago · Delete

Xavier See

holy fuck, i meant, slaying zombies LOL
about a minute ago . Delete

Lhemie Palermo

hahhahahaa....coolness! aryt then you take care chico!
59 seconds ago

Lhemie Palermo

LOL!!!!

31 seconds ago

we all make mistakes 140809

Jiron. says:
cant be as bad as my pox
Jiron. says:
my face has black flakey spots, so...
xav* our eyes met as she passed me by says:
haha
xav* our eyes met as she passed me by says:
yikky
Jiron. says:
yeah i dont even dare look at meself in the mirror
xav* our eyes met as she passed me by says:
u mean u could before this?
xav* our eyes met as she passed me by says:

Jiron. says:
before this, i thought i was the best looking dude i know
xav* our eyes met as she passed me by says:
hey we all make mistakes hombre, dont sweat it

Staying Positive in Hard Times 130809

Jeffrey says: (6:24:56 PM)

why u look so happy in the wheelchair?

xav* WE ARE TAKING OVER! says: (6:25:28 PM)

haha

xav* WE ARE TAKING OVER! says: (6:25:31 PM)

take pic must smile what

My facebook status : For guys who wanna get laid badly,join engineering.Everyday,you'll either get screwed by engineering or you'll go 'screw engineering'.In any case it's win-win,7 days a week,24 hours a day!

B : I get fucked pretty badly by architecture too.I don't need Julius/a guy.

Me:LOL

B : Yea in the ass.I don't like anal.

botak! 26.06.09

Jiron - If you milk it, you kill it. says: (2:45:52 AM)

she just told me she went for a wax.  wtf seriously.

xav*                                               sinking my feet into the grass where the dirt never felt so refreshing says: (2:46:47 AM)

call her a baldie

xav*                                               sinking my feet into the grass where the dirt never felt so refreshing says: (2:46:47 AM)

LOL

Jiron - If you milk it, you kill it. says: (2:46:54 AM)

LOL

x & m, 290409

Miche

i just watched something that seemed very fitting for your character.

it was hilarious

so we'd characterise it as x and m

Miche

x: i think women are all sex objects 

m: -gives a look of disdain- why so? 

x:cos whenever i ask for sex, women object.

(Miche was obviously joking... well, she'd better be. come on, im not like that...)

M | A | X says:
rules are made to be broken

Rayes Momentum is the key. says:
these rules are made to make you soar

M | A | X says:
but are still rules

Rayes Momentum is the key. says:
differentiates the world fastest man and a flying man

M | A | X says:
hmm how about the world's fastest flying man?
best of both worlds

Rayes Momentum is the key. says:
think about leaving the ground first
cannot even run properly wanna be the fastest flyer
can't even fly yet-_-

M | A | X says:
hahaha pay money go aeroplane la
why do it yourself when you can get ppl to do it for you
hahahaha

Rayes Momentum is the key. says:
ok next time i do your wife for you(provided she's hot)

Jeff chen says:
yall young men wanna fuck , fuck safely

Rayes Pounce. says:
wear 3 condoms
confirm safe

Jeff chen says:
wear 2

Rayes Pounce. says:
then still can feel anything meh

Jeff chen says:
with medicated oil in between

Rayes Pounce. says:
HAHHAHAHAHA

Jeff chen says:
if she scream means outside torn
if u scream means inside torn

Rayes Pounce. says:
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH
omg this is classic

Rayes An apple a day keeps the doctor away,Unless there are worms in the apple! says:
you've only got 28800 days for an average human life
you've passed 1/4 of it
last 2/4 you'd have erectile dysfunction for sure
you sure you wanna waste another day

M | A | X says:
there's viagra

Rayes An apple a day keeps the doctor away,Unless there are worms in the apple! says:
yea imagine you're doing oldies like yourself

M | A | X says:
HAHAHAHAHA

Ben does me a favour, 050409

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:29 PM)

do me a favour can?

Pseudonym: ben says: (8:49:42 PM)

what isssit about

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:47 PM)

well

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:48 PM)

if u can ah

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:49 PM)

later

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:52 PM)

when u meet us

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:49:56 PM)

pls dont bring ur face

Pseudonym: ben says: (8:50:10 PM)

im afraid i cant agree to that

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (8:50:17 PM)

im afraid of your face..

Zach, on the memorable night that he forgot all about

*naf EggHead. Alcohol is NOT the answer to life's troubles. says: (5:25:35 PM)

heard u were gone before me

*naf EggHead. Alcohol is NOT the answer to life's troubles. says: (5:25:35 PM)

hahahaha

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (5:41:44 PM)

fuck off goner

*naf EggHead. Alcohol is NOT the answer to life's troubles. says: (5:42:07 PM)

fuck u pussy i couldnt even find u

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (5:42:24 PM)

we fuckin battled to 4 minutes

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (5:42:31 PM)

and u fell to the grnd

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (5:42:52 PM)

but i think thats because u had this big-fat L on ur face thats why u lost ur balance

*naf EggHead. Alcohol is NOT the answer to life's troubles. says: (5:43:09 PM)

oh.. rite. hahaha i rmb the falling part, damn loser. HAHAHAH

*unicefxav*                                                                         what you think about, you bring about says: (5:43:19 PM)

vkm-ed mofo

In bali,on Nyepi day(google it).Talking to Australian dude who has a super heavy accent.

Edwin,'Damn this is boring man.I can't believe we're in this shit!'

Aussie,'Yea man this sucks mate.Did you bring on a gay party?'

Edwin,' *wtf to himself while aussie dude walks to his friends*'

Edwin to maya,'What did he say?Did you bring on a gay party?'

Maya,'No he said 'Did you bring a game player''

When kids ask about ahem

'What's a threesome?'

'Oh,it's a game,that adults play sometimes'

Edwin,'wth,bali taxi drivers are damn horny.'

Maya,'Why?'

Edwin,'Everytime they drive past tourists they will sound their horns,horny bastards.'

May I present to you, the official Alternate Caps Queen

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:07:11 PM)

ACQ

amelia says: (3:07:35 PM)

1?!

amelia says: (3:07:36 PM)

?!

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:07:51 PM)

Alt Caps Queen

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:07:56 PM)

im saying this while on me knees

amelia says: (3:08:04 PM)

HAHAHAH

amelia says: (3:08:04 PM)

WTF WHY

amelia says: (3:08:06 PM)

you lost your chair ah

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:09:52 PM)

HAHA

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:09:54 PM)

nice one

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:10:01 PM)

no cos i respect u...

*unicefxav*                                                                  get your swag on cos we're tearin it up tonight says: (3:10:14 PM)

ure alt caps royalty

amelia says: (3:10:38 PM)

HAHAHAHAH

amelia says: (3:10:50 PM)

t4nGc|_|+3 you

OMG! TANGCUTE?!?!?!

Quotes from HWZ (EDMW)

I think my penis stopped breathing. Can you give him CPR?

Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

A... Hard...Drive.... 26/03/09

Marianne

ummmmmmmmmmmm

let's meet up

soon

wITH

a special hard drive inluded

10:32pmXavier

u want... a hard drive?

10:33pmMarianne

A very special one that lights up

and is pretty.

10:34pmXavier

it hardens up... lights up is kinda stretching it....

10:34pmMarianne

XAVIER SEE!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU

YOU

YOU

YOU

YOU

*gasps for breath*

*OY

PUNCH

10:34pmXavier

lolololol

Cars or milk?

Jeff chen says:
anyways
i feel girls are like cars
the older they get the less value they have
men are like wine

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
ehh you wrong
cars are not good example

Jeff chen says:
den?

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
vintage cars worth alot
women more like milk
older it gets,suckier it is
tio bo

Jeff chen says:
bo tio
cars la
only certain kind of cars will become vintage

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
-_-

Jeff chen says:
you wont see a geely become vintage

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
in our world,women don't become vintage
milk is a better example

Jeff chen says:
got

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
80 year old ah ma you want

Jeff chen says:
no
but certain 80 yo ah ma age with grace

Rayes Because only strength stays pure. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

A new Virus?

xav* the key to speaking Italian is to wave your hands around alot says:
xiao^jiron

Jiron says:
u on drugs?

xav* the key to speaking Italian is to wave your hands around alot says:
no, you on drugs, xiao^jiron

Jiron says:
k i'll take it that ur computer had a virus and u're not writing these messages to me

Dangerous, Oww!

Josh : - warns me about impending danger in dealing with someone -

Xav : Look, do you know how dangerous I am?!?!

Josh and Krystal : *surprise*

Xav : Not very actually... go on...

Cute girls and...

PM: "Look at her pic, she's cute right?"

Jiron: "Yeah I can actually see her adam's apple."

Xavier: "Hahahahahahahahahahaha"

Thief!

*Xavier sees man drunk on floor of MacDonalds*

*Xavier looks around, sees no one looking, and takes the drunk man's un-touched burger*

Quote off facebook profile:

"Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!"

Sin,'B more or less retired from the field now cos he has a girlfriend.But no one has seen her.We haven't seen her.'

Edwin,'You kidding me?Is she like a myth or some shit?'

Sin,'Yea man.I'm not even sure if B has seen her himself.'

Humpty Dumpty, the way it SHOULD BE

Aayush humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall. all the kings horses and all the kings men, said "how the fuck did this happen again."

-thumbs up- Xavier like this.

How can you not?!

Amelia tries to sleep with me

amelia says:
i'm going to 85 for finner

xav* i have done it! says:
finner

xav* i have done it! says:
LOL

xav* i have done it! says:
i like the sound of it

xav* i have done it! says:
dinner first, fuck later

xav* i have done it! says:
a Finner Date

xav* i have done it! says:
i ain't payin for dinner if she ain't DTF

amelia says:
DTF

amelia says:
?

xav* i have done it! says:
DTF - down to fuck

----

Later people, Finner Time!

Xavier

Tuesday Night Chillaxsssss

To quote a local Dating Coach :

Gentlemens. When you speaks, you must be articulates. Then you will gets a lots pussies.

Tells a girl that you want to eats her pussies.

This is ****s, ending words with an S because it is plurals, means double effects.

Peaces outs.

At kopitiam

Inside joke edition
Setting:2 uncles,one shop owner,one serves coffee.one has long blonde hair.one is bald.

'Uncle wo xu yao yi ge quick opinion'
'Wah Uncle you guys like look best friends!I bet you use the same shampoo!'*oops*

'This girl has particularly lots of issues'
'But all girls have issues!'
'This is different.She has both medical and emotional issues..*rattles on*'
'Oh ya.You missed out erectile dysfunction.'

At a store

friend,'Hi I'm looking for a bag.'

edwin,'Dude you already have one.(he has nothing on with him)'

friend,'No?I have nothing on with me'

edwin,'there(points to myself)'

friend,store owner,'???'

edwin,'douchebag(points to me with wide smiles)'

09.03.09 - Decent Facebook interactions

Amelia Sim tagged you in the note "You know you love me (do it!)".

2:04am

Dear Amelia,

I ____ you.
You have a nice ______.
You make me _______.
You should _______.
Someday I will ______.
You + me = ________.
If I saw you now I'd __________.
I want to ________ you.
I would build a _______ just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be _________.
We could __________ under the stars.
Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

Oh and I am __________ (going/not going) to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Tagged in this note :


Xavier See




Xavier See at 2:06am March 9

oh this is gonna be so much fun...

Amelia Sim at 2:13am March 9

I'm starting to regret tagging you....

Xavier See at 2:33am March 9

Dear Amelia,

I am confused about you.
You have a nice, round pair of....... stuff, like eyes...
You make me have a... hard... time, teaching you how to prawn.
You should really believe there is no under-lying meaning in this note.
Someday I will join the priesthood to prove my innocence (don't ask when) .
You + me = See Chao Cock.
If I saw you now I'd have you do something that involves you in a uniform and clad in leather, as you clean up my house you worker from manila.
I want to send all my bills to you.
I would build a McGriddle factory just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be not a chinese one, definitely.
We could do it like they do on the discovery channel under the stars.

Love,
The only man you suck... up to. (because he's awesome)

(P.S. or was it the Asian Food Channel? wait, that could be dirty too...)

Oh and I am not going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Xavier See at 2:35am March 9

come on, would i ever screw you... over? no regrets :-)

Amelia Sim at 2:47am March 9

Damnit xavier. I duno whether to laugh or get mad.
But I'll always love your way with words.

Vampiric talk.

iza says:
nope
u didnt bite me
wen we talk until 4 am
hehe
unless u bite urself
coz u cant bite me
hehe

Jiron says:
i will bite u next time then
make sure i tear ur arm off

iza says:
ouch
thats painful, u know
but i know u wont

Jiron says:
then i'll massage it after that

iza says:
u like me, remember

Jiron says:
so u wont feel pain

iza says:
hehe

Jiron says:
then i'll bite again

08.03.09 - Sunday family talk

*discussion about picking-up chicks*

Edwin : Yea Xav, next time, my son is gonna tool your son in the field.

Xav : Maybe, but just in case it happens, Im gonna tool you in our generation!

Edwin : Haha bring it!

Xav : Oh yea, we're gonna go...

Jiron : Screw you guys, next time, MY SON is gonna fuck both your daughters!

Edwin and Xav : DAYYYMMMNNN hahahhahahaa!

Friday, 06 March 2009. King of Pop's VKM.

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
i feel like having a bbq tmr

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
but i too busy to organise sia

Raspjam; feels mentally molested says:
HUH.

Raspjam; feels mentally molested says:
but you are king of pop leh

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
yea but i need to get a new nose, dye my skin white...

-----


xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
when ure awesome

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
ppl make emoticons of you

Rayes Sometimes it takes luck.Sometimes it takes skill.Yet lacking either can cause an everlasting peril. says:
LOL yea your alter ego woke up at night while sleepwalking and made one for yourself

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
he is still a person

Rayes Sometimes it takes luck.Sometimes it takes skill.Yet lacking either can cause an everlasting peril. says:
HAHAHAHA

-----


j e s s i c a wong says:
thanks man,i love xav.u're always there for me NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

j e s s i c a wong says:
lol

xav* everybody fired-up this evening says:
hey, if there's someone to laugh at, you can ALWAYS count on me

-----

Another Introduction

Hey guys!

Speaking to Daniel Milton last night, I loved how he convinced me to make the most out of every situation at any time. To my credit, I knew that I should and I felt that I had made good effort, but what he did extended beyond that of my efforts. Sometimes, I need a good kick in the ass to stop me from drifting off into ZZZ land like Neil Patrick Harris did in Harold and Kumar 2. (A Unicorn!)

So yea, the whole idea of this blog is to log down interesting pieces of conversation in my daily life. I initially wanted to put them under the "favourite quotations" of my facebook account but heck, I talk a lot (too much) and naturally, I think i'm gonna have lots of these little Verbal Kodak Moments.

With that said, thank you for dropping by and lets make the most out of the cock we talk!

Live and Love,

Xavier